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Post by rhianna4554 on Jun 1, 2012 16:53:59 GMT -5
It still felt like being in a herd was all a dream. As soon as Risque had given his approval Dante had headed for the nearest thicket of trees any confidence wavering as he sought some solitude. He still had mixed feelings about te wole thing especially now with how Risque had refered to Ilona as his. Dante didnt have a clue what the mare wanted from him and her behaviour to protect him only confused him even more. Pain was a good distraction and so was the need to adapt his breathing pattern so his fractured or broken rib wouldnt be irritated. Head lowered slightly, due to feeling downright disheartened, he moved slowly aiming to forge deeper into the protection of the trees. There was no way he was going near Risque for a while, or any other herd members for that matter, especially when injured. Finally he stopped undearneath the thick canopy feeling slightly more secure. After exposing himself and his feelings in his confrontation with Risque it was a welcomed feeling. Exhaustion nagged at im and so he allowed his body to gradually relax heay eyes half closing as his body weigt shifted. Tonight sleeping while standing up was more appealing then trying to do so while lying down even if his legs wanted a rest.
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Post by Thoxic on Jun 5, 2012 17:01:31 GMT -5
Ilona hade followed him into the forest, after confronting Risk like this, protecting Dante, and after all she had been through, she was drop dead tired. She wanted to just fall to the ground and sleep for hours, but she couldn't do so. Instead she followed him in through the trees, until he stopped. She moved in next to him and nudges his neck a little before resting her head on his withers, avoiding his hurt ribs. She didn't like the fact that he was hurt so bad, it made so many things so much more difficult.
She had no idea how this would go, the whole thing with Risk and him, and her being on the side like this. It was obvious that she liked him, even loved him. Even if dante didn't see it, she had seen in the leads eyes that he understood it, and that was enough for now, she couldn't force Dante to understand such things, he had to realize it for himself.
(Can't be bothered by tables right now)
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Post by rhianna4554 on Jun 5, 2012 17:24:58 GMT -5
He was close to dozing of when hoof beats demanded is attention followed by a light nudge on the neck. Eyes opening his head turned a quiet welcoming nicker slipping loose. in the process for he already knew who it was. Wit tired eyes he watched her rest her head on his withers a faint smile from him forming instinctively. It was too easy to embrace the calming effect she had on him, especially when she was touching him, but tonight he had questions. Despite how delicate their relationship was right now he needed some answers. "Ilona...why do you want me here? Risque called you his...if you have moved on then you don't need me anymore." He did his best to keep the quiet words steady...to hide the pain that the idea of having to leave her caused him. He didn't allow himself to believe or even hope that she loved him since his mind was too guilt riddled and probably would always be.
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Post by Thoxic on Jun 14, 2012 8:42:30 GMT -5
It didn't surprise her one bit that he came with questions about what Risk had said, after all, he didn't knew that Risk called all herd mares "his", but he only had one mate, one true mate that he loved. They had all seen it, the love between the Chief and Chieftess, and it was said that the black mare had gotten that position because he loved her, but also that she seemed fit for it, and Ilona hade never had anything against the leadmare.
"Risk calls all the mares in the herd 'his'. It's natural since he is the lead, and as long as we mares doesn't have separate mates, that's how it is. But now I have you, you're my mate now."
She said softly, nudging his skin slightly with her soft pink and white muzzle, she understood his fears, but she could reassure him that she and Risquè never had been anything than friends. She was a mare in his herd, for protection. They had never even had a foal together, mainly because she hadn't wanted to, but he would happily have given her one if she wanted to, Risk was known to love all his offsprings.
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Post by rhianna4554 on Jun 15, 2012 6:41:56 GMT -5
Relief coursed though him at her explanation...until she got to her last words. He simply stared at her then in shock remaining unresponsive to her nudge. He was her mate? Had she really said that or was his hearing deceiving him? Realizing he had been holding his breath he exhaled heavily wincing slightly when his ribs complained. Delight soon made him forget about it though his heart fluttering like a hummingbird but doubt was there. He loved her but he didn't deserve her. Had she really considered this or was she doing it out of pity?
"I love you Ilona so much and I would be happy beyond words if that was so but I don't deserve you. After what I put you through...how could you want me to be near you like this? To fill that position in your life?" He didn't bother hiding his doubt...his uncertainty. He allowed himself no slack in the honesty he gave her.
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Post by Thoxic on Jul 9, 2012 10:36:52 GMT -5
"Psh, now you're being silly. I might not have forgiven you just yet, but I never forgot about you, I still hoped that you would come back. I wouldn't have defended you if I didn't mean what I just said."
She snorted slightly, looking at him, still calm, but clearly unhappy that he actually questioned her feelings. Hadn't she showed enough the last couple of days? Just staying with him after that birth of their now dead foal, defending him against Risqué, her own lead who had shown her so much kindness after Dante had left her. She had gone up against her lead, for him. And he questioned her? Great.
"If you have doubt about this, about us, then I can leave right now, because my mind is sore and tired enough already without having to ease your guilt too. I want you as my mate, otherwise, what I did back there was completely wasted."
She turned away her head from him, leaving his side and walk away a few steps, to calm herself. She couldn't handle both her own hurt mind and body, and handle his guilt and doubt, she couldn't hold this up by herself, not after she had just lost a foal.
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Post by rhianna4554 on Jul 9, 2012 12:51:00 GMT -5
His eyes rolled slightly at her comment about him being silly a haughty snort almost escaping but he held it back. The rest of her speech touched him yet they worsened his guilt and hate for himself at the same time. He was making her unhappy again which was the last thing he wanted. He could not help questioning her though for the doubt and guilt was too much. Her suggestion that she would leave sent an icy terror clutching at his heart for the pain and isolation he had felt during their last separation still haunted his mind like it always would. Call him selfish if you wished but he could not go through that again. The rest of her words fell on numbed hearing for the idea she would leave still played with his mind torturing him. When they finally registered it was a bit like a slap in the face. She was tired and emotionally drained and here he was moping about only making things worse for her. Enough was enough. No more would he have her feel like she had to support him. He had to be strong for her.
She was moving away from him then sending pain stabbing at his heart. "Don't go." The words came out barely above a whisper somehow managing to get past the lump in his throat. There was a slight pleading edge to them something which was unconsciously done. If she left there would be more pain. He could not stand the distance now between them and so moved forwards to her side again without hesitation although he refrained from touching her. "I do not doubt how I feel about you. Without you life is meaningless...there is nothing there. It has no purpose. Without you I could see no warmth nor beauty in the world." The soft words were steadier then before all of his negative emotion locked away nice and tight. She would suffer from them no more.
"I would go to the ends of the world and back for you. I will be whatever you want me to do....do whatever you want me to. I will never hurt you again." There was no sense of being shackled wit the promise. Instead it seemed to ease the guilt and self hate a little. It was easy to settle on a purpose with her because she was his purpose. Protecting her and keeping her happy was his duty now. It was one he relished. There was no hesitation as his neck draped lightly over hers. "Amore. Mea vita. From now on I will be your mate as you wish for however long you desire." He let love fill his words and cause his heart to swell. In the moment no other emotion existed. Her whole being chased the depths of his insecurities away even if it was for that precious moment.
OOC: "Amore. Mea vita." is spanish and translates as "My love. My life"
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Post by Thoxic on Jul 13, 2012 7:10:29 GMT -5
She would be lying if she said that it wasn't tireing that he was blaming himself all the time. It wasn't that she didn't want him to share his feelings with her, but he couldn't go around being all negative all the time, she wouldn't be able to handle that. She wanted a happy, positive Dante, one who wanted to live life to it's fullest every day, even if there wasn't more adventure to it than just wandering around on the herds territory, talking about the colorful birds or something.
When he finally moved in closer against her again, she stood still, but she pressed her neck slightly against his, she didn't want to go, but she couldn't handle his mood swings at the moment, she was so tired.
"What happened with.. her, wasn't your fault. It was the wim of the gods. I have handled my sorrow by now, you should too, because things can only get better from here, we have nothing to fear from the future, because we have eachother."
She said calmly before closing her eyes for a moment, just cherishing this moment and enjoying how calm everything was. She firmly believed that they had reached rock bottom, but that they now would start to climb up, reaching the very top of the hill that was their life and joy.
"And Dante.. I want your children. I will make you proud of your sons and daughters."
She would not budge on this, she wanted foals. When she had laid eyes upon that foal, she knew that she was destined to like being a mother, and even though her daughter had died, she felt ready to try again, it would ease her heart to raise a family with Dante.
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Post by rhianna4554 on Jul 13, 2012 8:11:43 GMT -5
It was a relief to feel her body shift against his slightly as her neck pressed against his. For a moment he allowed his eyes to close as he savoured the reunion. It made those memories of isolation even more painful. Eyes opened at her words instinctivy his neck hugging her closer at her pause as if to try and comfort her. He wanted to to disagree with her for if he hadnt have left she might not have every got punished but he held the words back not wishing to cause more friction between them. Besides she was tired the last thing she needed was more negative comments from him.
"You will always have me." He refrained from saying that he didnt deserve her or how the only ting he had to fear was losing her. So instead he just said that simple soft sentence before alllowing the silence to develop. It was not an uncomfortable one instead the air calm and soothing between them. He half expected his love to drift off. She hadnt and that first sentance of hers had his body freezing in shock the doubt returning to taunt the edge of his concious. He was pulling away from her then as panic set in. She wanted his children? He was barely able to believe she still had feelings for him as it was. What if things went wrong again? For moment he knew that fear and doubt was plain in his eyes as the thoughts raced trough his mind. Unable to meet her gaze his head turned orbs traveling to the ground as a broken sentence slipped through his lips. "I - I can't...I don't want you to get hurt again." The words came out barely above a whisper unsteady at times.
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Post by Thoxic on Jul 14, 2012 6:01:33 GMT -5
It wasn't hard to see on him that he feared the fact that it could happen again, that she got a miscarriage or somethingm and he was right, it could happen, but she was ready to take the chance, because she had loved the thought of being a mother, during the months of pregnancy she had gone through. She was meant to be a mother, to take care of little ones. She knew it, she could feel it, even though she had recently lost one. Like every mare she was born capable of having foals, but not all mares was capable in heart to get them, to cherish them as much as she would. What was is that they used to say? One happy feeling could ease the sadness of another?
"I wanted that foal with all my heart Dante, I wanted our daughter. I still want our children."
She was serious about this, but at the same time she understood his reluctance, she was also afraid that it might happen again, but she doubted that the gods would show their wrath again. She and Dante had probably paid their duce, she hoped so.
"No one can take away our loss.. But I still want our sons and daughters running around here. I want you to look at them with pride and love, just as I will do"
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Post by rhianna4554 on Jul 14, 2012 7:26:03 GMT -5
Her first words had the guilt racing back easily stirring his own longing as well at the thought of their deceased daughter. Never had he though of being a father but the small body had changed his perspective. He easily could imagine having their child running about but it was an idea tainted by danger. Danger that had him torn. He wanted her to be happy...to have everything she wanted and to even be a father himself but fears made him reluctant. It felt weird not to mention wrong to have his heart so torn between what he wanted and what he feared.
His angel was speaking again making the tear wider causing a lump tp form in his throat slightly. Head shaking a little his body shifted further away from her as he sought to form some order in his head. "I want it too. I want to make you happy....but the dangers..." His eyes closed briefly internally a small part of him kicking himself for allowing his compsure to be torn up like this but it did not help. I must look pathetic right now. Head turning slightly his gaze drifted to her and he did not miss the distance between them now. It brought a wave of fresh pain to him for such distance felt unbearable but he could not bring himself to closing it.
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Post by Thoxic on Aug 7, 2012 5:26:02 GMT -5
The dangers huh? She snorted roughly, looking away from him, and at the lush forest around them. Danger was all around them, in animals, plant, trescherous steeps and stones and holes in the ground. They couldn't always be afraid of everything, or was it just she who saw it that way?
"Danger? Everything around us is dangerous Dante... we can be brought down by what we eat, or by taking a step wrong in the forest. I'm not afraid of what will happen, I look at the bright side, at what good can come out of it. The chance of a son or a daughter definetly makes the danger worth it."
She said quietly and brushed her own white foreleg, the white of her long mane falling down towards the ground. Her greyish black tail waved behind her,, matching the little patch if same-colored hair she had at the withers, where the blue roan reached her neck. She was so simply colored, but simple could be beautiful, just as Dante. He was a solid black, with just a few white markings, nothing complicated, and she found him very handsome.
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Post by rhianna4554 on Aug 12, 2012 10:33:43 GMT -5
Her snort had him mentally flinching for yet again he had managed to annoy her. His own gaze drifted down as she looked away from him for despair stirred in him. Why did he always have to muck up with words? Why couldn't he just express himself without doing it in a way which hurt or annoyed her? By the love of god he did not deserve her. Words had his gaze returning to her and he listened in silence letting the words sink in. They soothed his worry a little for where he was unsure she had always been positive. Her patience had always been surprising to him for despite his rebukes she had still stayed with him. His Ilona had always taken the time to try and get to know him more despite the gruff outer layer. No wonder why he had fallen for her.
This time he did close the distance that was unbearable. Strides covered the ground between them until he was once more by her side muzzle reaching out to caress her neck lightly. "You are right my love but I am afraid. Afraid of you getting hurt again. You will have to guide me my dear...I am not used to these emotions." Soft words were spoken eyes closing briefly as he inhaled her scent letting it soothe him a little more. He knew she was right and he yearned to give her what she wanted...he would give in he just needed to build up a little bit of courage. "You hold more faith in me and our love them I deserve. Ilona...I love you. We will try as you want us to." How easy it was to let her company soothe him. Right now it gave him the courage he needed. Body shifting he slowly made is way down her side to her rump where his body twisted round to stand behind her. Refusing to give himself time to hesitate he carefully mounted her.
(fades to black)
Finished his muzzle touched her neck briefly before his body retreated carefully dismounting from hers. For a moment he remained behind er worry stirring. What if it went wrong? Swallowing he pushed the thought away body moving once more so that his strides carried him to her side again. Head turning his muzzle pressed against her neck filling his nasals with her reassuring scent. He did not trust himself to speak should something come out to ruin the moment or annoy her.
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